The Thrill of Victory- Jephthah

Father’s Day 2009

6-21-09

Text: Judges 11-12 

As humanity, we underestimate the incredible capacity that we possess to both inflict unspeakable pain as well as unexplainable healing.  

● Jephthah’s is a story of “rejection”… one of life’s most painful, most shaping experiences. We all have experienced it to some degree whether in relationships, in our family of origin, in jobs, etc.

            For me, it is reminiscent of the schoolyard rituals involving a rubbery-red-ball and a bunch of adolescent boys figuring out the pecking order.

            It usually began with (2) of the genetically superior boys serving as “captains”. As they begin to make their selections, some already knew they were targeted and their destiny was determined. Others began their “posturing” (like an elementary version of a “pose-off”); still others remained behind the lines, certain of their fate and the dreaded declaration, “You have to take Simpson!” 

● It simply reminds us that the although the rejection may go back years to a schoolyard or a family living room or an intimate relationship, the wound is deep and real and to think about it is to re-live it all over again.

            To combat that, we envision ourselves as the “chosen”, the “accepted”. We concoct scenarios which have us kicking the ball over the fence to the delight of the pre-pubescent onlookers, or nonchalantly walking away from a marriage that’s failed as if we were unfazed, or confidently living as though you felt like you belonged in your own home. 

Rejection is one of those wounds which does not seem to heal with time. In fact, it seems to fester.

[read Judges 11:1-3]

            For Jephthah, the rejection began, of no fault of his own, in his own home. We are introduced to him in a rather matter of fact way, but in a way that allows us to better understand what we are about to read about his life. 

“He was a great fighter… he was the son of Gilead, but his mother was a prostitute”.

            Amidst the scandal, to his credit, Gilead takes the young baby into his home to raise him as one of his own. But, the family made it clear, early and often, that Jephthah did not belong [“… you are the son of a prostitute” (illegitimate: not right, unacceptable)] 

● Rejection always involves some predetermined evaluation and attaches labels and stigmas on people which profoundly shape not only their own sense of value, but the way that they are “with” other people--- isolate themselves, keep people at a distance, superficial relationships [i.e. ever noticed the looks you get from the cashier and others in line when your card is rejected? “Maxed out another card, huh?”]

The social exclusion that people experience as a result of rejection is not without its consequences: loneliness, depression, aggressive behaviors,  

But, the ache never goes away.

Every human creature has an innate yearning for the fullest experience of God, ourselves and others in a way that makes us feel most alive. This yearning, this hunger, this desire--- however you choose to describe it, can easily be neglected or ignored, but it never leaves us.

            The most fundamental desire of humanity is the desire to have another “delight” in you simply because you were born. When we are “disconnected”, we remain unknown and never experience the fulfillment of being “believed in” or delighting in another. 

● I am convinced that beneath much of what our culture identifies as “psychological disorders” is a soul longing to find healing that only authentic community can provide. 

● Frankly, we all long to belong and that need is so strong that we will actually pursue ‘unhealthy community’ over isolation. Just as Jephthah found it in Tob, we will find a place to belong even if that place is self-destructive.

“The elders of Gilead (the very elders responsible for his dismissal from the community) said, ‘Come and join us…be our commander… help us” (11:4-6)

            “Who do we know that can fight?” All Jephthah could hear was, “We need you” (11:8). A pleasant sound in the ears of one so desperate to belong; to be somebody, especially coming from the very people who had rejected him: it’s what he’s dreamed of. 

● Jephthah may have been thinking that this validation might just undo all of the wounds of the past, but his immediate place of prominence is not a healthy place to be for one who’s struggled with rejection. The validation he desires could quickly become the vindication his wounded soul quietly longs for. 

● Interestingly, Jeb begins with diplomacy; a non-combative resolution. He sends a nice letter outlining (a bit inconsistently) Israel’s history and their right to the land in question.

            The Ammonite King makes a fatal error in judgment when dealing with someone who’s been rejected… he “ignores him” (11:28). 

11:29 “At that time the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah… and he went throughout the land leading an army against the Ammonites”.

            In some ways, this is a great war-story; plundering the enemy in the name of God! But, a couple of things undermine the victory:

            First, he makes a rash and foolish vow to God (11:30). In the midst of such anger and taste for vengeance, people operating from a wound are often impulsive and reckless. He needs to ensure that God is “on board” with his anger. He does what we often do, instead of being passionate about the things of God (what he values), we attach God to our anger in an attempt to legitimize our pursuits. 

11:30- “If you give me victory, I will sacrifice whatever comes out to meet me when I return in triumph”. What was he thinking?

            For Jephthah, no cost was too high, no sacrifice too great in order to finally be vindicated. But, when he sees what it will finally cost him to experience the validation that his soul has longed for, the triumph quickly turns to tragedy. 

Secondly (12:1-4), immediately after the victory, the Ephraimites show up (largest tribe in Israel).

            “You Gileadites are nothing more than a bunch of misfits; you don’t belong with us!” That’s what he’s been hearing his whole life… “You don’t belong!” 

I would like to offer these reflections… 

Be aware of what’s “fueling the fire”.

            Know the source of your “zeal”; know what’s motivating you. Be aware of what drives you; of what establishes your ambitions and goals.

            Jephthah was driven by a wound of rejection and every act, no matter how seemingly noble, was an attempt to compensate for the deep wound in his soul. It’s what defined him; it was woven throughout his character. On the outside, it may appear noble and valiant, but it may be proceeding from a wounded heart in search of vindication. 

Romans 10:2 “… the people are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge”.

            “zeal”--- passion, fire, tenacity. In an often indifferent world, we love to see people who are passionate about something, about anything. “knowledge”--- the ability to perceive what’s real, what’s true. The presence of zeal itself does not indicate that our actions are in keeping with truth (way things are and should be). In fact, sometimes our zeal makes it hard to know what’s real, what’s true. 

Zeal without knowledge (experience of truth) always produces self-promoting and self-gratifying pursuits.

            It’s our experience of God (knowledge; perception) that ensures that our passions lead to actions which are both God-honoring and personally restorative.

Empowerment without healing leads to unhealthy and untargeted passion. 

Empowerment can be a volatile resource given a wounded heart.

“The Spirit of the Lord came upon him…” (11:29)

Empowerment becomes volatile when the power on you never reaches in you deep enough to heal the wound. Seek not only to be empowered, but transformed.           

Realize that in the end, if you are driven by a wound, the people you will hurt the most are the people you love the most [Jephthah’s daughter paid the price for his inability to confront his wound and find healing for his pain]. 

If you are driven by a wound, the enemy that you were meant to conquer, you actually eventually imitate.

            The self-defeating and self-destructive patterns evident in those who wounded you will often be repeated in your personal interactions. 

Wounded people wound others, but they are also in the best possible position to bring healing to others.

            God chooses broken people to be agents of his healing [actually, his doesn’t have a choice, I guess]. Who better to relate to a broken world than broken people on the way to being made whole? 

● Jephthah’s rise to power was the chance he had been dreaming about for years, just like another wounded young man who rose to power, Joseph. Joseph became what Henri Nouwen called a “wounded healer”. 

Genesis 50:20 “Don’t be afraid of me… You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people”.

            The lives he saved/restored/protected? His brothers, the very ones who had wounded him; and, his own life from the perpetual damage of a life motivated by rejection and vindication. 

Isaiah 53 “He was despised and rejected--- a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief… by his wounds, we were healed”.

● Today, if you see within yourself some of the same harmful and self-destructive patterns present in Jephthah, allow God’s healing love to go deep to the place of your pain- where you were rejected and abused, and bring healing to the wound so that such love can actually help to alter the life of another.